Showing Pride in our Fraternities
When I was admitted to the University of Washington, the thought of joining a fraternity didn’t interest me. My understanding of fraternity life was a housing option with the added benefit of a social life. However, absent in that understanding was the emotional support network, the safe space to learn about myself, and the true sense of brotherhood that all fraternities can offer. These have been instrumental in becoming who I am today.
As a gay man, I was acutely aware of the perception of the LGBTQ community in fraternal life.
Because of this, fraternities didn’t appeal to me, and I thought I didn’t appeal to fraternities.
Now, as I’m serving my second term as IFC President at the University of Washington, it’s clear there’s much more than meets the eye to fraternities—and much more that we as an industry can offer. At nearly every level, how we sell the fraternal experience has missed the mark.
Fraternities, both at UW and across the country, rely heavily on disproving the negative perception in the media. The inherent problem with emphasizing that your chapter doesn’t haze is that the bar is set too low and tells a young man that your chapter can offer him the same experience as a residence hall.
As we sit back and wonder why our recruitment pool is getting smaller and disproportionately white, it’s easy to see. As long as we continue to fail to sell fraternities for what they can offer, the assumed ethnicity, sexuality, and wealth of our chapters’ membership will continue to sell itself, further limiting who feels like they belong in a fraternity.
At the University of Washington,
1 in 15 fraternity men identify as part of the LGBTQ community.
92% of men report that their fraternity has had a positive impact on their mental health.
In fact, I personally credit my fraternity with lifting me from one of the lowest points of my life and wouldn’t be who I am or where I am today without it.
If we want diverse men from all walks of life to join our organizations, showing them that truest sense of brotherhood—mutual acceptance, support and fidelity—is alive and well in our chapters is an excellent place to start.
Being gay in a fraternity is at first glance antithetical. Fraternities have a reputation as breeding grounds for toxic masculinity with memberships that largely reinforce society’s archaic definition of a man. While this may be true on occasion, one thing that’s often absent from the narrative on fraternity life and the recruitment pitch we make are the core aspects of brotherhood that transcend even the most basic binary classifications a young man can be described by, sexuality included.
The reality is that our society still largely expects the impossible from young men:
resolute emotional maturity
a well-defined moral compass
the ability to empathize
And that’s just to name a few.
Where society fails and where fraternities can excel is in providing young men the opportunity to grow into these traits and learn from mistakes along the way. While a focus on these intangibles may not be the calling card of the fraternity experience, its priority within our organizations has never been more important in selling a membership experience of true value to the diverse group of men—gay, straight, black, or white—we hope to call our brothers.
Erik Johnson is the 2020 recipient of AFLV’s Marilyn Fordham Award for an outstanding undergraduate who has accelerated progress in the fraternity/sorority experience. Learn more about Erik’s accomplishments.