Building a Culture of Truth
“Culture, it’s the way we do things around here.”—Brené Brown
Culture can be viewed as values, rituals, languages, ethos or DNA, but most importantly, culture should be viewed as the accepted and rejected behaviors of a group of people. While values, words, and ceremonies look good on ancient manuscript, they do little to indicate the current culture of that group of people. Fraternity/sorority life is a perfect example. Large and away, our ritual books do not illustrate an accurate picture of our organizations today. Though they could serve as a guide, a reminder of our values, and a foundation, we do little with the content of these books but recite them a few times a year.
Culture Begins with Values
Honesty, integrity, truth, honor—these values align with all of our rituals (no matter your ritual). This presents us with an interesting dichotomy of being an organization founded in secrecy yet expects individual members to openly demonstrate the values of honesty and integrity. Perhaps we haven’t recognized this tension and irony in our story, but we must use this to build the culture of truth we desperately need in fraternal organizations.
Integrity involves being honest, loyal, honorable and sticking true to your developed character. People of integrity refrain from lying, stealing, or cheating. People of integrity are viewed with respect, even great esteem. Fraternity and sorority members can become these people when we hold ourselves to our pledges, to our rituals, to our values. And as leaders, we must do the work to remind them that which they have committed.
Researchers found if individuals were primed to think about their own personal morals or values, their behavior was tilted in a more honest direction. One study had a group of participants name the Ten Commandments, while the other group was asked to name 10 books they read in high school. Next, both groups participated in a rewards activity, where lying was rewarded at a higher rate than honesty. Those who reviewed the Ten Commandments prior to the activity didn’t cheat at all, while those who recalled their 10 high school reads engaged in “widespread, moderate cheating” (Ariely, 2013).
What if, as fraternity and sorority leaders, we engaged our members in these types of discussions and reminded them of their individual and collective values? Could we prime our members’ minds to focus on honesty, leading to more honest behavior?
Example: I was working with a chapter following a judicial complaint involving members who scared their new members in dark sleeping dorms. Was it the craziest example of hazing I had seen from the fraternity community? No. However, when I asked the chapter to explain how this tied back to its new member program’s purpose, they could not articulate a reasonable response. When I asked them how the activity showed the new members what values they were expected to live by: no answer. No matter the activity, it should be able to point back to our chapter values. Going on an ice cream run at 10 p.m. on a Tuesday? Perhaps this activity points back to the value of loyalty, supporting a brother or sister even though you’d rather be doing homework. Additionally, finding a 5 a.m. gym buddy in your new member class could exemplify the value of discipline.
Centering our chapters, members, and activities around values will take effort. It may involve reviewing your new member program or changing your brotherhood/sisterhood activities. Perhaps you take 10 minutes of a chapter meeting time to discuss a value of your organization each week until all have been covered. Whatever you decide to do, living a values-centered life takes work.
Please know that this work is not only yours to complete.
At every level, we should be instilling the value of honesty into our organizations, our members, and our leaders. This is why we have codes of conduct at the university level. This is why our chapters have informal and formal accountability processes. This is why we have advisors, housing corporation boards and fraternity/sorority life officers. We are all engaged in the work of creating environments that allow members to develop into people of integrity. If you need help, you just have to ask.
We all are responsible for creating a culture of truth—both within our organizations and ourselves.
So stand up against that which is false, live out what you say, and be virtuous in all areas, bringing honor to yourself as well as to the organization and the community at large.
Reflecting Forward
How can we create and maintain a culture of honesty in our chapters? Since leaders turn over yearly, how are we training the next group of leaders to expect and model honesty?
If we find ourselves in deception, ask “why has this become the norm?” Is this fixable? If it is, who do we involve and how do we work to fix this?
Do our members feel obligated to act honestly because they want to be seen as good people or maintain positive relationships? Or do they view honesty as their duty and responsibility?
How do we engage in conversations about honesty, especially surrounding our individual rituals and chapter traditions?